Jokes in english

Hello to all , Today we share english funny jokes with you.It  is difficult to make jokes to impress our friends .We know we also share every jokes on whatsapp , because in the whole world in every person use whatsapp and share jokes with our friends. You are on a right place to find any type of jokes .Here we post  daily new jokes for you . Hope you all friends like and share with your friends .

1. An old man had 8 hair on his head,

He went to barber shop,

barber in anger asked :

shall i cut or count ?

Old man smiled and said :

“colour it”!

LIFE is to enjoy with whatever

you have with you ,

keep smiling

........

2. Pappu: What is the diffrence

between coffee shop and wine shop ?

Chintu: coffee shop is starting point of

love and wine shop is last point of love...

3. After english Exam

It was easy but question 5 confused me:/

what was the question ?

Question 5 wanted the

past tese of 'think',

I Thought & Thought & Thought

And End up with writing 'Thinked'

4. Husband: I lost my wife, she went shopping &

hasn't come back yet .

Inspector: What is her height?

Husband: I never checked .

Inspector: slim or healthy?

Husband: Not slim,can be healthy.

Inspector: Colour of eyes?

Husband: I never noticed.

Inspector: Colour of hair?

Husband: Changes according to season.

Inspector: What was she wearing?

Husband: Not sure whether it was a dress or suit.

Inspector: Was she driving?

Husband: Yes.

Inspector: Colour of the car?......

Husband: Black audi A8 with supercharged 3.0

litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power

Teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic

transmission with manual mode.And it has full

LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes

for all light functions and has a very thin scratch

on the front left door..............and then the husband

started crying

Inspector: Don't worry sir....... we will find your car.

5. Boy: Our principal is so stupid.

Girl: Don't you know who i am ?

Boy: No.

Girl: I'm the principal's daughter .

Boy: Do you know whom I m ?

Girl: No.

Boy: Good (walks away)

6. Teacher : What does a sign have to

do with your being late?

Student: The sign said,

“School Ahead ,GO Slow!”

7. IN GYM
Boy: I want to impress the cute

Girls.....

Which machine should

I use..?

Uncle: Use the ATM machine

outside the GYM.

8. Boys on Bike...

1 hand on Clutch,

1 hand on accelerator,

1 Ear on Traffic sounds,

1 Ear on Mobile,

1 Leg on Gear,

1 leg on Brake,

2 Eyes on Girls,

Aren't boys Multi Talented.........

9. Man 1: Why is Prime minister

not seen in morning.

Man 2. Because he is PM

not AM.

10. Teacher: Today, we're going to talk

about the tenses.Now,If i

say “ I am beautiful”

which tense is it?

Student: Obviously it is the past

tense....